My goals this time

Do I have a target weight? A dream weight? I guess I do. I still want to reach 65 kg at some point, but I don't care about when. My target for the time being is to reach 75 kg, but in my head there is an even more immediate target, which is to go to 83kg, which was my all-time low back in 2008. I don't know how long it will take me to get there, and I don't really care. Yes, it's a target, but I won't allow it to put any pressure on me. What I want to make sure is that any weight that comes off me, is off for damn good.

This time, I want to focus on behavioural change, because I am fully convinced that if I don't manage to do that, any success in numbers will be short-lived. Behavioural change has to do with day-to-day small changes which amount to big and permanent results. These little goals are easier to keep track of than some far-away target weight to be reached by some target date in the far-off future. When I say behavioural change, I mean:

• Stop eating before being full. Not even comfortably full. I want to be able to stop eating when I still feel just a little bit hungry, when I still have the urge to keep eating. That's because it takes time for your brain to realise that you are full, so you could be eating and think that you are still hungry, even though you are not really. This is extremely hard, I know; everything in our minds and bodies pushes us to eat until we are full, if not too full. But this is what needs to change for me to make sure that I keep any weight off.
• Limit alcohol consumption. Since I moved to the UK, I have definitely increased how much I drink. It's amazing how much more socially acceptable it is to get absolutely s***-faced in this country, compared to the US (and Greece, even). Not that I get s***-faced very often, I can hold my drink remarkably well, but I am definitely drinking more than I used to. So my goal is to drink about one glass of wine with meals (that's when I eat with others who ask for wine. I don't drink on my own, usually.), and when I have cocktails, limit them to a couple (per day, on the days that I drink, which tend to be the weekends).
• Avoid desserts like the plague, except if it's raw fruit. Seriously, by the time dessert comes on the table, I am usually pretty full anyway. And desserts are usually full of stupid calories. There will be cases, of course, when I will have dessert, I know that. And when I do, it will be because the dessert is mouth-watering and it's something that I will remember in a long time, something that I would really hate giving up. On those (rare) occasions, I will enjoy every bite and not feel bad for having it. A great dessert is not the reason why my whole effort will go to waste, as long as I don't have it very often. Again, this is a non-issue when I eat alone, but it might require some effort when I dine with friends.
• Never have seconds, unless they are veggies. In general, I usually don't count the veggies that I consume, because the effort to figure out the calories is just not worth it. The calories are negligible, and I give myself incentive to eat more veggies. I count any oil/butter/fat that goes in them, obviously.
• Eat really slowly. I find that this has really big payoffs, and it's not emphasised enough in all the weight-loss sites and resources. I want to take my time with every single meal, appreciate every bite, and not think about other things, or the seconds that I am not allowed to have. I want to be the last one on the table to finish their meal.
• Treat this behaviour as permanent, not something that I will give up on anytime soon. Which means that I need to be realistic. I was very good about this last time around, so it should not be too hard to repeat what I did back then, in terms of daily caloric consumption.
• Not focus on the tree and lose sight of the forest. I count calories because it helps me to stay on track, but I need to learn how to eat healthily and on-plan without a calorie-counting application. Never should I avoid eating a healthy meal just because it will be hard to find caloric information about it. I should eat it and enjoy it! Nor should I beat myself up about having eaten something that's not easy to log in my calorie counter. I should try to be honest and give approximate information about the calories that I consume, but I should remember to give myself a break whenever I feel that I am becoming obsessed with the counting. Ten calories more or less will not make a difference in the long-run.This is obvious to me now, but it's not so obvious when you are really "in the zone" and focussed on the scales and your calorie log. This change should help with feelings of exhaustion and frustration further down the road, and also with the boredom of consuming the same foods all the time. 
• Focus on achievements, not setbacks. I will pay attention and be proud of every little change that I make. Last night, for example, I had one glass of wine with dinner. My boyfriend had three over the course of the night. I easily could have followed him, but I didn't. Yay me! I will also be forgiving of setbacks, or "unexpected deviations" from plan. I will not reject a dinner invitation because I'm afraid it will involve too much food. I will deal with it, the way any normal weight person would. This is necessary for this to be a long-term effort.
• Keep moving. I don't want to set any more exercise goals at this time, although I might do that later down the road. For now, I just want to make sure I take a decent walk at least once a day.

This is a rough roadplan for the future. I am learning (again) how to eat less than I consume, and be able to keep it up for a while. Hopefully I will succeed this time. Even if I decide to settle at a higher weight, whatever I lose this time will never come back.